That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize