At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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