you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Randomize
