It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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