I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
