so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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