Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
