When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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