PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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