So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
