Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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