My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
