I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You don't make any sense
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