oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
