Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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