It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
