dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
