she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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