Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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