You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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