he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
