First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
