How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
