anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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