You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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