Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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