You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
