Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
