I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
