I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
