We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
