Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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