Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
