I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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