she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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