My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
