Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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