I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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