adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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