Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
