And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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