You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
