Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
