it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
