it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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