Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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