she was so not down for the gang bang
i think my tv is drunk
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
operation harelip BJ is a go
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
