If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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