Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
