And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
