u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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